I thought I was a good tipper until I heard that George Clooney tips twice the bill.
It’s very frustrating to live life after C.J. when people think that I’m like her. I only wish. C.J. is my idol because she was so smart and she always knew the right thing to say at the right time. But that was really Aaron Sorkin coming out of my mouth. That didn’t sound right…
To my mother, manners are very important. She’d say, “The ship goes out to sea.” Meaning: The spoon moves out to the soup. Then it picks up its cargo and comes back to port.
I was not a good waitress. I was not very good at scooping ice cream. I cried a lot because the people were mean. I felt like people in New York went out specifically to be mean to the waitress.
I got to know Paul Newman. I played ping-pong with him. He once told me, “If you ever need a favor, let me know.” I never called him on that favor. I used to carry his favor around in my pocket like it was a Valium. Just knowing I had it in my pocket made me feel really confident.
A friend of mine carries a Valium in her pocket wherever she goes. She doesn’t ever take it, but knowing it’s there gives her comfort.
We joke in my family that my father learned to play the piano so he wouldn’t have to talk to anybody. I wish I could play the way he did so I could go to parties and be present but not have to be called upon for small talk.
Everybody loves the person playing the piano.
I’ve never gone out with a man who’s taller than me. Shorter men have always been into me. Maybe because they like to climb mountains or whatever. I don’t know.
Most men lie about their height.
Saying you’re five foot twelve isn’t lying about your height.
Women wear high heels because they make their legs look longer and their ass look better. The heels prop you forward so your ass …
I used to make fun of Rob Lowe when I started on West Wing because he had an assistant. I was like, Oh, please, what the hell does he need an assistant for? Then I got one, and I don’t know how I ever lived without one.
When I was doing The Hours, I was trying to learn something from Meryl Streep. She would go to dailies every day to watch herself. I don’t know how she did it. I can’t watch myself. I don’t think I’m a good judge of when I’m good.
I say yes to too many things. My friends hate me for it. “Did you triple-book again?” I don’t want to disappoint anyone so I always say yes, and then I disappoint everybody.
I can have the best audition and not get the part. I can have the worst and get it.
Brad Whitford said the funniest thing about being directed. When somebody gives him direction, the first thing he thinks is Fuck you! The second thing is I suck! And the third is How can I do it better? What can I do to please you?
I do the best I can. Everything else is everybody else’s problem.
Always go to bed with clean feet. That’s from my grandma.
I used to be convinced that if I twitched the right body parts, then I, too, would be magical. Like in Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie. I spent a lot of time in my bedroom twitching things to find my magic powers. I never found them. But I’m still looking.
You hear stories about actresses who need to redo their makeup every take. The less I’m touched, the better.
My brother committed suicide. It’s shaken my world the way my world was never shaken before. He was an addict. Anyone who has to deal with an addict learns that it’s devastating to want something more for someone than they want for themselves.
It’s frustrating when someone asks, “How are you coming? Are you over it?” I will never, ever be over it. Not in a million years. But it will become something I understand more. It’s that understanding that makes you feel like when you let go, you’re not being disloyal to the person who died.
I don’t trust people who don’t like dogs.
Never put butter straight onto the roll. Take just enough, put it on your plate, then butter your roll.
I love practical jokes. Especially when they’re not directed at me.
Tagged as: Allison Janney.